Connections

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good.

Kathy Goller uses these words, lyrics from a Broadway musical, in prayerful tribute to her friend Fr. Gary Bagley, who died November 14 at age 59.

“He’s the primary reason I’m in ministry today,” says Goller, associate director of the Diocese of Buffalo youth ministry office. “He knew that we need to continually be calling forth people, exposing people to a great and exciting vision and church of ministry. Gary did that for so many people.”

The many people Fr. Gary changed “for good” remember him as a great listener, a masterful storyteller, an asker of deep questions, and a great companion to the youth. Despite the sudden passing of the former director of the Diocese of Buffalo youth ministry office, his gifts live on in those who remember him.

His Legacy

Goller takes to heart a phrase from the 1976 document, A Vision of Youth Ministry. “It said that true ministry replicates itself,” she recalls. “Gary embodied that message. He knew if we’re presenting a vision that’s exciting and engaging, people will follow.”

Fr. Gary connected with Goller on a Christian Leadership Institute when she was 14. He would become a mentor and ministry partner to her and many others.

“Patti (Bubar-Spears), Ann Marie (Eckert), Mary Beth (Coates), we were all youth department kids mentored by Gary,” Goller says. “Beyond church workers, he touched so many teachers and doctors and people in other walks of life.”

Fr. Gary was inspired by Renewing the Vision, which says “If we are to succeed, we must offer young people a spiritually challenging and world-shaping vision that meets their hunger for the chance to participate in a worthy adventure.”

“Gary was a big believer that youth ministry and the church need to be challenging,” Goller says. “To present a watered-down version wasn’t him. It had to be spiritually challenging.”

Deep Thoughts, Tough Questions

“He was a keen listener, so astute at assessing a situation,” says Colette Kennett, director of youth ministry for the Diocese of Belleville, who spent many hours beside Fr. Gary at NFCYM board meetings. “Gary would sit through these long conversations, just listening and doodling,” she recalls “and then he’d come up with an incredible comment, something really profound.” “I’d point to the doodle and ask him ‘How did you get that out of this?’ And then we’d just laugh!”

Michael Theisen also appreciated Fr. Gary’s challenging questions, but not always his timing. “Sometimes it was infuriating,” Theisen recalls of the days when he was a neighboring diocesan director in Rochester. “We’d have these long meetings and get near a conclusion. Gary would wait ‘til the very end, and then he’d throw out this zinger of a question. I’d say ‘C’mon! Now we have to re-do everything!’

“But that was his prophetic role,” says Theisen, now NFCYM membership services director. “Prophets ask those deeper questions that make you stop, turn around and rethink things. That was his gift – to see the larger picture and make connections to our vision and mission.”

Companion on the Journey

Fr. Gary inspired Ann Marie Eckert, who met him on a retreat when she was 16.

“As I began to move into ministry, I hoped to emulate Gary’s ability to connect to the stories and experiences of young people” says Eckert, now a trainer with the Center for Ministry Development. “He listened as well as anyone could to the ramblings of teenagers, and always found the pain or joy underneath the surface. He invited young people to talk about what was more important and real in their lives.”

Kennett also valued Fr. Gary’s willingness “to take that Emmaus journey with young people, wherever they are.” She cherishes a memory from the World Youth Day pilgrimage to Toronto, when Fr. Gary invited her diocese to breakfast in Buffalo.

“It was more than just the pancakes,” she remembers. “It was the sense of hospitality, a place to be along our pilgrimage. He fed us, but he also fed us by example about what it means to be a faith community. Whether you’re from Buffalo or Belleville, we’re all part of the same family.”

He Challenged Us

Fr. Gary was great at asking the “Why?” questions, recalls Mary Harrison, former director of youth ministry for the Diocese of Albany.

“He was so insistent on helping young people to think critically about their faith,” she says. “He challenged us to go deeper. He was ahead of the curve, a visionary. He’d lead us to books and articles that would push the envelope.”

“He always had some new book or idea that he was playing with,” Goller adds. “He always had an analogy to help people understand things better. He’d say ‘My reading of the gospels is that Jesus didn’t use churchy language. Jesus used dirt and seeds and fish to get his points across.’ So Gary might use $20 bills or Broadway musicals – things people could related to.”

“Gary wasn’t afraid to tell me or anyone what he thought needed to change to make our ministry more effective,” Eckert says. “He helped me and countless others grow in ministry because we didn’t just get pats on the back. We got very specific feedback.

“Twenty-five years after encountering Gary, I am a youth ministry trainer in great part because of the lessons I learned by sharing ministry with him,” Eckert says. “When I spend a week at YouthLeader with young people, I am not afraid to critique and give constructive feedback to help them grow. I know what a difference it made in my life and I would like to pass that gift on to others. Gary impacted youth ministry on a diocesan, regional, and national level, but he will be best remembered here in Buffalo for all the individual lives he made better. I am one of them.”